April 2011

I told the girl who sounded like a fairy about the rope... I wasn't mistaken about the one who was at the other end of it from the start, because a few months later I received the sign. I don't know whether it was a mistake to call her sister or she was only too blinded by self-confidence at that time. Her "smarter" ego smiles throughout the years showed me I was unable to convince her to be a friend of Her. Do I care if a "friend" doesn't want to be my "friend"? I thank God for that. For over a decade I had to deal with a "friend" wanting to be my "lover", calling me to commune with her in darkness. And I saw how self-centered people believe like hell in the "power" of a bad vibe to get what they want. I mean, the self-sufficient fairies could be closer to the witches and their tricks than they can imagine.

It always crosses my mind when I'm about to say some things I think, that they can be "socially" embarrassing if exteriorized, but I say them anyway. I just believe, and don't need an already developed comprehension of anything to express myself. It's like, "If you want to come with me in this investigation, fine". I couldn't keep myself from bringing out the voice of Leigh in my head. She didn't believe me; probably thought I was only trying to play the victim. Yeah, the mad boy should know he deserved the hit 'n' run. It was as if my badness had revealed to them that they were all good boys and girls going to heaven, and all they had to do was wait while they kept searching for the lies. The "Gospel" (gossip) of self-righteousness "saved" a whole industry. No wonder they remained ashamed of Jesus like rest of the adulterous generation.

The Spirit is not in the old sea where the disconnected mind swims; we only drown, day by day, as we continuously believe to be sufficient of ourselves to think anything. Deciding to use those words to make ourselves idols, greatness is something we will never achieve. Because we've chosen a stupid life that has nothing to do with the angels, not those who didn't find it a good idea to fall. What's the point? To be seen as great as God? Yes, but you have to lock the stupid people out so that they remain stupid, because if they get In and become smart, the "fun" is over. They'll know that whoever refuses to rise is no real light, not really just, less than a little god. The "hope" of controlling others, whether it's one or one million, is the process of being content with feeling nothing aiming at ultimate loneliness.

In the bond of iniquity there's only one who'll stay with you until the end.

Don't worry, he'll be holding tight to the rope.