sexta-feira, 9 de junho de 2023

Too "Afraid" To Be Legal

So, thanks to a more design-clever than I instagram user, I found out that her logo is a drop of water. I had never stopped to try and imagine what it is... if someone asked me to interpret it, I'd probably see a 'D' facing left and 'L' facing right there. So, wondering how many other connections still hidden from me could exist in this case, I decided to search for more information about this artistical partner of mine. What did I find out? That she has a degree in criminal psychology. Oh, it makes a lot of sense now. My therapist also didn't find me dangerous. I used to think, "It must be really boring to sit here watching people talk for hours about their worldly lives daily", so I tried to help a little thinking my cool things. Sometimes it was clear I was successful. That's how I defined well spent time and money.

Spoken word's energy is crazy. It can hit, crash like a good or bad wave, and people don't realize the responsibility it involves. Speaking and searching to discover things you don't know is challenging; the other hears the whole process, and it can become a mess and be frustrating when you can't find at least one of those pearls that fuels the quest and motivates towards the next findings. It's not like writing, when it's only you and the machine until you publish it; and I enjoy writing as a realistic painter paints, working on every detail. But when I'm out there, I find it hard to speak only within the boundaries of what I already know anyway; I'm too eager for something good and new that can make me feel a little more radiant. I'm really about Content and Energy, not apparent empty aesthetics.

I saw that post a few months ago and I was like, "What's that?? Has she been reading my e-mails? I don't know what she has seen over there, but since she's being nice to me, I'm going to be super nice to her". When you choose fraternity, it's just amazing what you can find, searching the Source, to bless a soul. I guess she probably understands, consciously or not, that egocentrism is the source of all criminal behavior, when the individual uses a metal weapon to murder an idol he realizes he can no longer have, but also when the lie, the foolishness in his mind and its energy that flows through the whole body, is the weapon he uses to possess the idolized object. And since we're living in a world of fools, the latter is rarely identified, regarded as criminal and devilish, except by a few questioning minds.

What else did I find out? That she loves Offspring. My story with that band is that I borrowed Ixnay on the Hombre from my brother the year I attended the church's school, and I used to listen to that a lot. No wonder I've been finding connections with my crazy ideas hidden in it these days.

Is her drop only apparently connected to the Source I've been getting my ideas from without even noticing that was a drop? Maybe. But she's certainly not closed-minded like that other girl that sees me as a threat. I think she doesn't like stability and balance very much, I think she digs being the only drop her boyfriends and public take. I wouldn't know how to relax to see that "thrill" as something good; I know it's really evil. As a matter of fact, I've warned them all about it from the start. There's not one of them that hasn't understood that he or she was Oscar, and his, her "life" was Mimi. That's why I was hated; they don't want anyone reminding them that they are unsuccessful. And I told them it's wisdom to recognize necessity and backspace, reverse, go in the opposite sentido before it's too late to escape the crypt's destino.

They're too "fearful" to see themselves through the mirror of horror movies, and would rather pretend all that darkness has nothing to do with them. Where do they think they can run to, to hide from it? Church? I met a coward in temples who used to believe that, and she was worse than Oscar. She was no pioneer, "radical" Christians have always preached that kind of exterior "sanctity". She just heard someone else and embraced it, because it was an easy way out. And that's what lazy and busy people do, they do not listen to the Medicine because they don't get the meaning and having to work for Her ruins them for Life. They are ready to spend the rest of their days in the company of vanity. As for me, I find it "comfortable" as hell. Haven't I told them to stare at Notre Dame and care for her words, looking to decode them? I have.

Yes, I've decided to pursue the 8:8 and enter the jungle.

Only loving and fearing makes me feel alive; I find it attractive and need it like a drug addict.